Friends will be Friends

JOURNAL April 30, 2018

I don’t know with mathematic certainty

or fortune-teller’s accuracy

when this need for popping the bubble I’ve been living in started

 

– indomitable thought that there’s something more, out there,

something different from the mould I’ve known.

 

 

But for some combination of inexplicable reasons I can’t call by a name

and these selfish dreams of mine,

stubbornly stuck in the upsidedown way I see the world,

like a messy succession of impulsive moves and the inevitable coming to familiar conclusions and tastes.

 

 

But I often found myself piling up thoughts and locking them

in a drawer I’d forget about,

opting for the usual jeans, the usual sentences that don’t let show

that perpetual veil of days with no risks, but forever lacking a bit of salt.

 

 

Fuck it to the stillness of the flow,

time diluted in lukewarm relationships and orgasms let halfway,

articulated in grey skies and mid-season jackets.

 

 

So I bought that plane ticket I was terrified to buy.

And I came to the conclusion that maybe it’s hard for me to buy the idea that I deserve better than this foreplay games I’ve been playing

to keep me distracted

and my days filled.

 

That maybe there’s more than days lacking salt and common places.

That maybe it’s not too bad to fall into the mud of If’s and But’s.

That maybe this mould of life without unexpected turns and tough lessons isn’t as bad as I’ve pictured it.

 

 

And so I took a run,

and started to believe that maybe the emptiness under my feet when the sea gets deep isn’t that scary if you turn it upside down.

If I think that not knowing what’s waiting for me out there, where others haven’t swum so far, can be the best gift I could give myself.

 

 

So here I find myself,

laying for the last night in my bed

– knowing by heart the voice I make when I cry

and the way I sing when nobody’s listening.

 

Ready to take a deep breath and see it by myself,

what the hell is waiting for me there where my eyes can’t see.

 

The things that scare me the most are also the things that make me the happiest.

 

Who knows what’s hiding where people don’t have the guts to swim,

where some don’t find the heart to come back from.

 

 

Europe’s been the perfect playground,

Australia I’m coming for you.

 

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Comments 6

  1. giampaolo bonotto says on April 30, 2018

    Non so se sia abbastanza pronta per te Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone. From: The FranzineSent: Monday, 30 April 2018 15:06To: giampaolo.bonotto@gmail.comReply To: The FranzineSubject: [New post] Friends will be Friends

    a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; } a.primaryactionlink:link, a.primaryactionlink:visited { background-color: #2585B2; color: #fff; } a.primaryactionlink:hover, a.primaryactionlink:active { background-color: #11729E !important; color: #fff !important; }

    /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com

    Francesca posted: “I don’t know with mathematic certainty or fortune-teller’s accuracy when this need for popping the bubble I’ve been living in started   – indomitable thought that there’s something more, out there, something different from the mould I’ve known. &nbsp”

    Like

  2. Valeria guidolin says on April 30, 2018

    Spero tu possa trovare quello che stai cercando, e se non fosse cosi, avrai comunque fatto un’esperienza unica e indimenticabile ❤ in bocca al lupo cuore mio, ti voglio bene! Tua valeriè

    Like

  3. giampaolo bonotto says on April 30, 2018

    Good luck and gut feeling Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone. From: The FranzineSent: Monday, 30 April 2018 15:06To: giampaolo.bonotto@gmail.comReply To: The FranzineSubject: [New post] Friends will be Friends

    a:hover { color: red; } a { text-decoration: none; color: #0088cc; } a.primaryactionlink:link, a.primaryactionlink:visited { background-color: #2585B2; color: #fff; } a.primaryactionlink:hover, a.primaryactionlink:active { background-color: #11729E !important; color: #fff !important; }

    /* @media only screen and (max-device-width: 480px) { .post { min-width: 700px !important; } } */ WordPress.com

    Francesca posted: “I don’t know with mathematic certainty or fortune-teller’s accuracy when this need for popping the bubble I’ve been living in started   – indomitable thought that there’s something more, out there, something different from the mould I’ve known. &nbsp”

    Like

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