i often find myself getting lost in the labyrinth of ideas my forehead has become, not sure which suggestions to follow, letting my feet lead the way and shutting all impulses out. but lately, i also realised how all things unplanned are the most vivid memories and the ones that always put a smile on my face.
here i find myself, wandering through streets that speak a language i don’t know, going with the flow of thoughts that i’ve been trying to shut up, but that keep coming back like bees to honey. here i find myself, on a slow saturday morning, sitting in a brazilian cafe catching my breath while the world spins out of this window, never-ending ride of highs and lows and no inbetweens. i’ve never been a fan of indecision. but now that anything could happen, given the chance to point my finger on the map and get off, well, all i feel the need for is an anchor to keep me still and enjoy the view of the now. and maybe it’s because i’ve got an entire population of ideas living in my head, changing shape like smoke in the wind and i don’t know which one to pick first. maybe it’s the thought that not being in love, having to water your plants every day or having a loan to pay back give me that freedom that all people rooted to a place or to a heart crave. but this lightheartedness is what keeps me wandering and wondering what it is that is missing, if it’s as simple as a balanced diet or the cure for a helpless lover.
how do people find the guts to do what they want? how do they make it to the places their restless naivety sings them to sleep? where do you find the courage to do what makes you happy?
fuck it, this late morning rambling makes my coffee get cold.