There are those raw days when you feel something’s missing, and you look for it, desperately searching for something you wouldn’t recognise the shape, the colour or the smell. So you jump from an addiction to the next, trying to fill this void of feels, resolving it with the conclusion that it’s not the moment yet, that it’s a matter of perfect timing, good combination of ingredients and a pinch of letting your days in the hands of this something that is puppeteering the world, like the recipe for a pie. And it’s probable that you’ll have to go wrong, collect scratches and learn how to deal with voices you don’t like, houses you can’t make home and uncomfortable shifts, the rain and expensive taxi rides. And it’s probable that you’ll have to learn a new language, make do with the food and fly for miles. But there will come the time that all this experimentation of different lives every handful of months, moving furniture and packing your life in a backpack to carry on your shoulders, living out of the basics and not forgetting to keep it light, well, it’ll all make sense.
So here’s to changing currents, things come to an end and new beginnings. And you may not have a balanced diet, the safety of an income or a quiet bedroom to go back to at the end of the day. But stop finding excuses, trying to fix people’s lives to keep your mind distracted from your big plans, greedy to save who doesn’t want to be rescued or leaving room for your insecurities to take over and make you doubt about all small things. But if you don’t allow yourself the freedom to go wrong and letting people in and out of your days, you’ll miss all the fun of this hell of a ride.
And in those raw days, when everything starts to crash and you can’t remember those details that slow your breath down, hold tight to this thought – you’re here, now, and it’s not the places you’ve been, the people you shared the sheets with or the times you let your eyes drown in salt that make you, you. What matters is if you’re ready to let yourself try, and sometimes it’s good to let some homework in the hands of fate.
So get out there, play your cards and turn your life into poetry.
All good things take time.
- Anthropologie // interior design, 158 Regent St, Soho
- Yauatcha // Chinese food, 15-17 Broadwick St