There’s a strange misconception when it comes to experimenting.
Trying people out to see how they fit in out routine, indulging in a new drink or getting free from your job and giving yourself another shot to make things right.
There are days when everything you touch seems to crumble. Every person you let in your days, ears you whisper stories and eyes you dive deep in being kind to yourself.And yes, you may not have all things figured out, your room may look like a riot, the laundry to get done and all other tiny matters that add up to the idea that you’re no good.
And it is in these days that you should move your focus from all that’s going wrong to where it deserves to be, no matter if it’s watering the plants, getting back to running or learning how to cook food other than rice.
And there’s always going to be a whistle in the back of your mind hinting at how the new is not always a better scenery for your play, keeping your feet on the ground and decorating the bubble of comforting little things you’ve been watering for months. But what if there’s something more to the places and tastes you got used to? What if something good grows from the mess you’ve been stumbling on until today?
I’m no expert in the matter of solid relations and long-term matters, but there are a couple things I’ve learnt by going wrong. And these may sound trivial – like extracts taken from motivational books with an old cover -, but they’re something good to keep tight to when things get too real. And what I’ve learnt is that all things are a mess, you just have to learn where to hide them.
So give yourself the freedom to go wrong. There’s nothing more relieving than not knowing how things will turn out and figuring your next move from there.
Just a matter of time and it will all come together.
If not, have some banana bread, some more coffee and keep experimenting.